Books by Brett Helquist
box-of-unfortunate-events
by Lemony Snicket, Brett Helquist
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
A Warning from the Publisher:
Imagine you are wearing a bandage that needs to be removed. Are you the sort of person who tears the bandage right off, causing an enormous amount of pain in a short instance? Or do you prefer to spread your pain out over a longer period of time, by slowly unpeeling the bandage from your injury?
If you are the first type of person, then this three-book box set might be for you. All of the misery and woe available in three Lemony Snicket volumes—The Miserable Mill, The Austere Academy, and The Ersatz Elevator—have been joined into one compactly miserable package, so readers foolish enough to read about the Baudelaire orphans can be unnerved in a slightly more economical fashion.
If you are the second type of person, then volumes four through six in A Series of Unfortunate Events might be for you. Even if you unwisely choose to read them at a more leisurely pace, you will encounter such atrocities as poorly paid employees, a hypnotist, an evil scheme, a gym teacher, dripping fungus, another evil scheme, a fake accent, three mysterious consonants, a red herring, and at least one more evil scheme.
Of course, most people would prefer not to be injured at all. We salute these sensible people, who will doubtless not purchase any books by Lemony Snicket, no matter how conveniently bundled.
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The Trouble Begins: A Box of Unfortunate Events, Books 1-3 (The Bad Beginning; The Reptile Room; The Wide Window)
by Lemony Snicket, Brett Helquist
NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
Lemony Snicket’s unhappy tale of the unlucky Baudelaire siblings begins with The Bad Beginning. In this short bothersome book alone, the three orphans encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, and cold porridge for breakfast.
Should you not mind deadly serpents, slippery salamanders, lumpy beds, large brass reading lamps, lng knives, and terrible odors, then proceed with caution to the second book in the miserable series, The Reptile Room.
Readers unbothered by inclement weather, hungry leeches, and cold cucumber soup will want to continue with the third installment, The Wide Window. Others will not.
If you’ve got the stomach to wade through the first three tragic tales in Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, then this troubling collection might be the one for you. Several loathsome extras, including a compilation of unsettling quotations and a very disturbing portrait, await those who successfully complete the wretched journey. You’ve been warned!
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ROGER the JOLLY PIRATE
Wanting to prove that he is just as good a pirate as the rest of his mates, Roger finds just the right moment in battle to do something that will make him stand out from the rest and change the course of his life forever.
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Bedtime for Bear
Wintertime is here, and that means it is bedtime for Bear. But Bear's friends don't think so. They want Bear to come and play outside in the snow. Bear can hear his friends calling. He hears them laughing and playing. Bear can't sleep. But it's bedtime! What is a bear to do?
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Grumpy Goat
Meet one Grumpy Goat.
He's cranky, he's hungry, and he's never had a friend.
He is making a terrible mess at Sunny Acres Farm, and the other animals just stay away.
He knocks over the pigs' trough, kicks down the garden fence, and eats everything in his path.
Until one special flower stops him in his tracks.
And once Goat opens his eyes, his heart is soon to follow.
See how stopping to smell the flowers really can change everything.
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Roger, the Jolly Pirate
Roger is too jolly to be a pirate.
He does not scowl, growl, or strike fear into sailors' hearts like his pirate friends. So poor Roger is sent away whenever there is any real pirating to be done. Then one day, in the middle of a great battle, Jolly Roger cooks up a wonderful idea . . . and pirate ships will never be the same again!
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No copies available.