Books by Jory John

K is for Knifeball: An Alphabet of Terrible Advice

by Jory John, Avery Monsen

From the authors of the breakout bestseller All my friends are dead. (more than 175,000 copies sold) and in the humorous vein of Go the F**k to Sleep comes a laugh out loud collection of bad advice that turns the children's alphabet book on its head. Adorable illustrated characters lead readers down a path of poor decision making, and alphabetical, rhyming couplets offer terrible life lessons in which O is for opening things with your teeth, F is for setting Daddy's wallet on fire, and R is for Raccoon (but definitely not for rabies). With plenty of playfully disastrous choices lurking around every corner, this compendium of black humor may be terrible for actual children, but it's perfect for the common senseless child in all adults.

The Bad Seed (The Food Group)

by Jory John

★ A New York Times bestseller! ★ An Amazon Best Children's Book of the Year selection
From the New York Times bestselling author of the Goodnight Already! series

This is a book about a bad seed. A baaaaaaaaaad seed. How bad? Do you really want to know? He has a bad temper, bad manners, and a bad attitude. He's been bad since he can remember!

With Jory John's charming and endearing text and bold expressive illustrations by Pete Oswald, here is The Bad Seed: a funny yet touching tale that reminds us of the remarkably transformative power of will, acceptance, and just being you. Perfect for young readers, as well as anyone navigating their current world, The Bad Seed proves that positive change is possible for each and every one of us.

The Cool Bean Presents: As Cool as It Gets: Over 150 Stickers Inside! A Christmas Holiday Book for Kids (The Food Group)

by Jory John

Based on the New York Times bestselling picture book sensation The Cool Bean, Jory John and Pete Oswald present: As Cool as It Gets! Includes two sticker sheets, perfect for decorating your own holiday cards and gifts.
When the Cool Bean picks the name of the coolest of the cool beans, Beanadette, out of a hat for the annual gift exchange, he’s not feeling very merry or festive—he’s feeling pressure! Beanadette is definitely expecting the coolest present of all. Will the Cool Bean find the perfect gift in time for the party?
Find out in this hilarious, charming, and cozy continuation of Jory John and Pete Oswald’s bestselling Food Group series.
Check out Jory John and Pete Oswald’s funny, bestselling books for kids 4-8 and anyone who wants a laugh: The Bad Seed The Good Egg The Cool Bean The Couch Potato The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape! The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, the Bad, the Spooky! The Cool Bean Presents: As Cool as It Gets That’s What Dinosaurs Do

The Sour Grape (The Food Group)

by Jory John

The Instant #1 New York Times Bestseller!
Don’t miss the sixth picture book in the #1 New York Times bestselling Food Group series that’s ripe with humor from Jory John and Pete Oswald!
The Sour Grape holds grudges for every reason under the sun. Lime never returned a scarf they borrowed? Grudge! Orange never called back? Grudge! But when a friend holds a grudge against the Sour Grape without listening to an explanation, the Sour Grape realizes how unfair grudges can be. Could a bunch of forgiveness and compassion be enough to turn a sour grape sweet?
Jory John and Pete Oswald serve up another heaping plate of laughs and lessons with this empowering, witty, and charming addition to their #1 New York Times bestselling series!
Check Out Jory John and Pete Oswald’s other funny bestselling books for kids 4-8 and anyone who wants a laugh: The Bad Seed The Good Egg The Cool Bean The Couch Potato The Smart Cookie The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape! The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, the Bad, the Spooky! The Cool Bean Presents: As Cool As It Gets! That’s What Dinosaurs Do

The Smart Cookie (The Food Group)

by Jory John

An Instant New York Times Bestseller!
Be a smart cookie—and don’t miss the fifth picture book in the #1 New York Times bestselling Food Group series from creators Jory John and Pete Oswald!
This cookie has never felt like a smart cookie no matter how hard she tries, especially in comparison to all the clever cupcakes and brilliant rolls in the bakery. Will a dash of creativity and a sprinkle of confidence be enough to help her learn that perfect scores and having all the answers aren’t the only ingredients for intelligence?
Jory John and Pete Oswald serve up another heaping plate of laughs and lessons with this empowering, witty, and charming addition to their #1 New York Times bestselling series!
Check out Jory John and Pete Oswald’s other funny, bestselling books for kids 4-8 and anyone who wants a laugh: The Bad Seed The Good Egg The Cool Bean The Couch Potato The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape! The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, the Bad, the Spooky! That’s What Dinosaurs Do

The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, the Bad, and the Spooky

by Jory John

This Newbery Honor Book from bestselling author Katherine Paterson is now a major motion picture.

Eleven-year-old Gilly has been stuck in more foster families than she can remember, and she's disliked them all. She has a reputation for being brash, brilliant, and completely unmanageable, and that’s the way she likes it. So when she's sent to live with Mrs. Trotter and William Ernest—by far the strangest family yet—she knows it’s only a temporary problem.

Gilly decides to put her sharp mind to work and get out of there fast. She’s determined to no longer be a foster kid. Before long she's devised an elaborate scheme to get her real mother to come rescue her. But unfortunately, the plan doesn’t work out quite as she hoped it would….

Come Home Already!

by Jory John

From the creators of Goodnight Already! and I Love You Already!, the third hysterical picture book about Duck and Bear, unlikely pals.
An excited Duck wants to hang out with Bear. But Bear’s gone fishing for a whole week and is happy to finally get a second alone.
What will Duck do while Bear is gone? How will he survive without his best pal?!
A Bank Street College of Education Best Children's Books of the Year

All Right Already!: A Snowy Story

by Jory John

From the award-winning creators of Goodnight Already!, I Love You Already!, and Come Home Already!
SNOW DAY! Duck is super excited and can’t wait to play in the snow with his best friend, Bear.
Bear isn’t excited about playing with Duck, or going out in the snow. As always, he’d rather stay inside, where it’s warm and cozy.
But can Bear resist his persistent friend? If so, who will play in the snow with poor Duck?!
Award-winning duo Jory John and Benji Davies deliver yet another outrageously funny story that will, by the end, warm readers' hearts. Duck and Bear are a pair of pals who prove that best friends come in the most unexpected ways.

I Love You Already!

by Jory John

From the award-winning creators of Goodnight Already!, Come Home Already!, and All Right Already!
Bear can't wait to spend a pleasant day by himself. But his persistent next-door neighbor, Duck, wants to take a morning stroll . . . with Bear.
He just wants Bear to like him already. . .
Jory John, author of Penguin Problems and The Bad Seed, and Benji Davies, creator of The Storm Whale, join together again to bring us this standout hilarious story of unrequited admiration that will leave children laughing at every page. Perfect for Valentine’s Day or any story time!

The Good Egg: An Easter And Springtime Book For Kids (The Food Group)

by Jory John

A #1 New York Times bestseller!
An Amazon Best Books of the Year 2019 selection!
From the bestselling creators of The Bad Seed, a timely story about not having to be Grade A perfect!
Meet the good egg. He’s a verrrrrry good egg indeed.
But trying to be so good is hard when everyone else is plain ol’ rotten.
As the other eggs in the dozen behave badly, the good egg starts to crack from all the pressure of feeling like he has to be perfect.
So, he decides enough is enough! It’s time for him to make a change…
Dynamic duo Jory John and Pete Oswald hatch a funny and charming story that reminds us of the importance of balance, self-care, and accepting those we love (even if they are sometimes a bit rotten).
Perfect for reading aloud and shared story time!

Goodnight Already!

by Jory John

*An E. B. White Read-Aloud Honor Book*
A hilarious bedtime book from the award-winning creators of I Love You Already!, Come Home Already!, and All Right Already!
Bear is exhausted. All he wants is to go to sleep.
Duck is wide awake. All he wants is to hang out . . . with Bear.
Will Bear ever be able to catch some ZZZ’s?
Jory John, author of Penguin Problems and The Bad Seed, and Benji Davies, creator of The Storm Whale and Tad, join together to create this standout hilarious picture book that's perfect for bedtime read-alouds.

Goodnight Already!

by Jory John

*An E. B. White Read-Aloud Honor Book*
A hilarious bedtime book from the award-winning creators of I Love You Already!, Come Home Already!, and All Right Already! Now available in a lower-priced hardcover edition.
Bear is exhausted. All he wants is to go to sleep.
Duck is wide awake. All he wants is to hang out . . . with Bear.
Will Bear ever be able to catch some ZZZ’s?
Jory John, author of the bestselling Food Group series, and Benji Davies, creator of The Snowflake and Tad, join together to create this standout hilarious picture book that's perfect for bedtime read-alouds.

That's What Dinosaurs Do

by Jory John

From The Bad Seed and The Good Egg creators, Jory John and Pete Oswald, comes a story about a dinosaur who loves to ROAR.
William the dinosaur likes to roar.
At the park?“ROAR.”
At the bus stop?“ROAR!”
At the farm? You bet. ROARRR!
William never lets the chance to roar pass him by, even if others find it rather bothersome.
That's until William gets a sore throat and the doctor warns him not to roar for a WHOLE week. But can this overexcited, boisterous, giant lizard not do what dinosaurs are meant to do?!
In his humorous and insightful style, Jory John creates an epic story about unapologetically and happily being yourself, no matter the cost. Another side-splitting combination of John’s brilliant text and Pete Oswald’s expressive and lively illustrations, That’s What Dinosaurs Do is a read-aloud that young readers will roar for again and again.

The Couch Potato (The Food Group)

by Jory John

An Instant New York Times Bestseller * An Instant Indie Bestseller * An Indie Next List Selection
Feeling fried? Peel yourself on the couch and meet your new pal-tato! The winning fourth picture book from the #1 New York Times bestselling creators of The Bad Seed, The Good Egg, and The Cool Bean, Jory John and Pete Oswald, will get you and your kids moving!
The Couch Potato has everything within reach and doesn't have to move from the sunken couch cushion. But when the electricity goes out, Couch Potato is forced to peel away from the comforts of the living room and venture outside. Could fresh air and sunshine possibly be better than the views on screen?
Readers of all ages will laugh along as their new best spuddy learns that balancing screen time and playtime is the root to true happiness.
Check out Jory John and Pete Oswald’s funny, bestselling books for kids 4-8 and anyone who wants a laugh: The Bad Seed The Good Egg The Cool Bean The Couch Potato The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape! The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, the Bad, the Spooky! The Cool Bean Presents: As Cool as It Gets That’s What Dinosaurs Do

The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, the Bad, and the Spooky: Over 150 Spooky Stickers Inside. A Halloween Book for Kids (The Food Group)

by Jory John

A #1 New York Times Bestseller!
Based on the New York Times bestselling picture book sensation The Bad Seed, Jory John and Pete Oswald present: The Good, the Bad, and the Spooky! Includes two sticker sheets, perfect for decorating your own mini jack-o'-lantern.
Halloween is the Bad Seed’s favorite holiday of the year. But what’s a seed to do when he can’t find a show-stopping costume for the big night? Postpone trick-or-treating for everyone, of course!
Can he get a costume together in time? Or will this seed return to his baaaaaaaaad ways?
Find out in this hilarious, charming, and thought-provoking continuation of Jory John and Pete Oswald’s bestselling Food Group series.

The Bad Seed Goes to the Library (I Can Read Level 1)

by Jory John

The Bad Seed borrows an awesome book from the library in this Level One I Can Read by the #1 New York Times bestselling duo Jory John and Pete Oswald!
The Bad Seed is in a good mood…for once. That’s because there’s a really cool book at the library available for checkout. The Bad Seed reads, and reads, until the book can’t be read anymore.
But suddenly, he gets bad news: The book must be returned to the library so another seed can enjoy it. Will the bad seed return to his baaaaaad ways and keep the book? Pick up this really cool book to find out!
The Bad Seed Goes to the Library is a Level 1 I Can Read book, which means it's perfect for children learning to sound out words and sentences. Whether shared at home or in a classroom, the short sentences, familiar words, and simple concepts of Level One books support success for children eager to start reading on their own.

The Good Egg and the Talent Show (I Can Read Level 1)

by Jory John

The Good Egg discovers his true talent in this Level One I Can Read by the #1 New York Times bestselling duo Jory John and Pete Oswald!
The talent show is today and the Good Egg is so excited. There’s just one problem. He doesn’t have an act!
When the talent show starts, he accepts that he’ll be just a regular ol’ audience member. But when his friends need help on stage, the Good Egg steps up to help and discovers that being yourself and kindness deserve a standing ovation.
The Good Egg and the Talent Show is a Level 1 I Can Read book, which means it's perfect for children learning to sound out words and sentences. Whether shared at home or in a classroom, the short sentences, familiar words, and simple concepts of Level One books support success for children eager to start reading on their own

The Cool Bean (The Food Group)

by Jory John

AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER!
The “too-cool-for-school” third picture book from the #1 New York Times bestselling creators of The Bad Seed and The Good Egg, Jory John and Pete Oswald
Everyone knows the cool beans. They’re sooooo cool.
And then there’s the uncool has-bean . . .
Always on the sidelines, one bean unsuccessfully tries everything he can to fit in with the crowd—until one day the cool beans show him how it’s done.
With equal measures of humor, wit, and charm, the #1 New York Times bestselling duo Jory John and Pete Oswald craft another incredible picture book, reminding us that it’s cooler to be kind.
Check out Jory John and Pete Oswald’s funny, bestselling books for kids 4-8 and anyone who wants a laugh: The Bad Seed The Good Egg The Cool Bean The Couch Potato The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape! The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, the Bad, the Spooky! The Cool Bean Presents: As Cool as It Gets That’s What Dinosaurs Do

The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape!: Over 150 Stickers Inside: An Easter And Springtime Book For Kids (The Food Group)

by Jory John

A New York Times Bestseller!
Based on the #1 New York Times bestselling picture book sensation The Good Egg, Jory John and Pete Oswald present: The Great Eggscape! Includes two sticker sheets, perfect for decorating your own eggs.
The Great Eggscape is when the Good Egg and his pals escape their carton and drop into the store for a morning of fun, enjoyed by everybody.
Well, almost everybody.
Shel (an egg) isn’t a huge fan of group activities, especially when he’s made to be “It” for a game of hide-and-seek. Nevertheless, Shel doesn’t want to let his friends down, so he reluctantly plays. But after a morning of hiding and seeking, somebody’s still missing. Will the dozen eggs friends ever be reunited?
Find out in this hilarious egg hunt adventure that reminds us to break out of our shells and help our friends in need! A funny book to share anytime, and the two sticker sheets make it especially egg-cellent for Easter.
Check out Jory John and Pete Oswald’s funny, bestselling books for kids 4-8 and anyone who wants a laugh: The Bad Seed The Good Egg The Cool Bean The Couch Potato The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape! The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, the Bad, the Spooky! The Cool Bean Presents: As Cool as It Gets That’s What Dinosaurs Do

The Big Cheese (The Food Group)

by Jory John

An Instant #1 New York Times Bestseller!
Don’t miss the seventh picture book in the #1 New York Times bestselling Food Group series from Jory John and Pete Oswald!
The Big Cheese is the best at everything, and brags about it, too. When the annual Cheese-cathlon comes around, the Big Cheese is prepared to win, as always. But what happens when the quiet new kid, Wedge Wedgeman, comes out on top? Is a slice of humility all the Big Cheese needs to discover that some things are better than being the best?
Jory John and Pete Oswald serve up another heaping plate of laughs and lessons with this empowering, witty, and charming addition to their #1 New York Times bestselling series!
Check Out Jory John and Pete Oswald’s other funny bestselling books for kids ages four to eight and anyone who wants a laugh: The Bad Seed The Good Egg The Cool Bean The Couch Potato The Smart Cookie The Sour Grape The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape! The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, the Bad, and the Spooky! The Cool Bean Presents: As Cool as It Gets! The Bad Seed Goes to the Library The Good Egg and the Talent Show That’s What Dinosaurs Do

The Cool Bean Makes a Splash (I Can Read Level 2)

by Jory John

The Cool Bean faces the super slide in this Level Two I Can Read by the #1 New York Times bestselling duo Jory John and Pete Oswald!
It's a perfect day at the community pool for a swim. The cool beans are the best swimmers in town. Check out how they dive! Look at how they cannonball! Watch how they backflip! YOW!
As for the Cool Bean, the shallow side of the pool is the only side of the pool he treads water on. Until one day, the Cool Bean sees the super slide and finds the courage to finally ride the slide...or does he? Find out in this splashy story about taking chances, trying new things, and leaning on your friends.
The Cool Bean Makes a Splash is a Level Two I Can Read book, geared for kids who read on their own but still need a little help. Whether shared at home or in a classroom, the engaging stories, longer sentences, and language play of Level Two books are proven to help kids take their next steps toward reading success.

Everything's Wrong!: A Bear, a Hare, and Trouble Everywhere (A Bear and Hare Book)

by Jory John

From #1 New York Times–bestselling author of The Bad Seed, Jory John, and illustrator of Buffalo Fluffalo, Erin Kraan, comes a meaningful yet utterly hilarious tale―a companion to the popular picture books, Something's Wrong! And Nothing’s Wrong!

It’ll surely be a no-hassle, stress-free, easy-peasy kind of day . . .

Best friends Jeff and Anders start the day with the best of intentions, but before long, everything goes haywire. From power outages, to spilled breakfasts, to missing socks, a series of irritating incidents sends the bear-and-bunny duo on an epic journey that will test their fortitude and their friendship. Can these pals work together to salvage this disastrous day?

Another read-out-loud, laugh-out-loud picture book from bestselling author Jory John, paired with standout talent Erin Kraan, reminds us that even when your day seems to go completely off the rails, you can make it through any challenge―especially when you have a good friend by your side.

You're Going to Love This Book!

by Jory John

Sure to bring a smile to the faces of even the grumpiest readers, this laugh-out-loud picture book from #1 New York Times–bestselling author Jory John and internationally acclaimed illustrator Olivier Tallec is hilarious enough to come back to again and again.

Attention, reader: You’re going to LOVE this book!

No, really, you are. It’s got everything you could ever want: comedy, drama, action, heart. Plus―are you ready? It’s got homework! Ahh yeah! And a trip to the best place ever, the dentist! Ahhhh yeahhh! Additionally―brace yourself―it’s got raisins! Nature’s candy. AHH YEAHHH! This book is so great, you won’t be able to stop reading it. I DARE you not to have fun.

Something's Wrong!: A Bear, a Hare, and Some Underwear

by Jory John

A hilarious picture book from #1 New York Times–bestselling author of The Bad Seed, Jory John, paired with new illustrator Erin Kraan, about a bear whose friends help him make it through a bad day!

Oh-no. Jeff the bear has definitely forgotten something.

He ate his breakfast, he watered his plant, he combed his fur…what could it be? Why does he feel so oddly off?? He asks his friend Anders the rabbit what could possibly be wrong. It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that he's wearing underwear…over his fur...could it?

Something's Wrong! is another read-out-loud, laugh-out-loud picture book from bestselling and beloved author Jory John, about that horrible nagging feeling that it just might not be your day―but you know you have a friend to support you no matter what.

Nothing's Wrong!: A Hare, a Bear, and Some Pie to Share

by Jory John

From #1 New York Times–bestselling author of The Bad Seed, Jory John, and illustrator Erin Kraan comes a meaningful yet utterly hilarious tale―a companion to the popular picture book, Something's Wrong!

It’s the perrrfect day for a picnic! But oh-no. Anders does not seem like himself.

He and his friend Jeff are headed for a spectacular afternoon together, but no matter how much Anders insists that he’s feeling just fine, Jeff gets the sense that his best friend isn’t being totally honest. Jeff doesn’t know what to do. Give him space? Stand by his side? Pretend that absolutely nothing’s wrong?? How can he be a good friend if he doesn’t know what Anders might need?

Nothing's Wrong! reminds us that even when things don’t turn out as planned, a good friend will be there for you no matter what.

This Book Will Get You to Sleep!

by Jory John

For little ones reluctant to say good night, this laugh-out-loud story from beloved author Jory John and internationally acclaimed illustrator Olivier Tallec will guide them through different methods of falling asleep―until they might just get tired after all.

ATTENTION, READER: This book is going to MAKE YOU TIRED! It will CALM YOU DOWN! Yes, this book WILL PUT YOU TO SLEEP! How? Easy.

There are monster trucks dashing across the pages. There are sheep being chased by dragons. There are electric guitars wailing throughout. Plus so MUCH MORE! Yep. All the typical stuff that makes you sleepy. So . . . are you asleep yet? No? Well, maybe another method would work better . . . So read on, and it's guaranteed you'll start to snooze!

Quit Calling Me a Monster!

by Jory John

★ An Amazon Best Children's Book of the Year Selection

The talented creators of I Will Chomp You! brilliantly frame the struggle to buck stereotypes and learn empathy in this monster's hilarious lament.

Floyd Peterson is so much more than shaggy purple fur and pointy monster teeth--
why can't people just see him for him? Jory John and Bob Shea have struck gold in creating a knee-slapping, read-it-again story that will start a valuable discussion about how we treat others and how it feels to be seen as "different."

I Will Chomp You!

by Jory John

STOP RIGHT THERE. Don’t move a muscle, buster. Stay out of this book or I WILL CHOMP YOU!

So says the not-so-fierce inhabitant of I Will Chomp You!, a tale of deception, greed . . . and cake!

In their funny read-aloud, Jory John and Bob Shea bring a fresh twist to a time-tested blueprint as their little monster threatens, reasons, and pleads with readers to go no further in the book because he will NOT share his beautiful, delicious cakes. Children will identify with the monster’s high valuation of his possessions, and (importantly) will laugh at the silly measures he takes to protect them.

"A monster’s reign of terror begins even before the title page: “HEY. GO AWAY.” Turn to the title page and there the monster waits, blue-skinned and angry-eyed: “I WILL CHOMP YOU!” As the reader turns the pages, the monster’s direct-address threats increase: “If you turn any more pages…I WILL CHOMP YOU, BUSTER!” Another page turn and the monster is even angrier: “NOW QUIT IT!” Until finally, “HEY! I’m warning you! You’ve been officially WARNED! CHOMP!” Unfortunately for the monster, the reader is just too fast, and its chomp misses the mark. The monster proceeds to bite, yell, and barrel its way through the pages, repeatedly trying to halt-by-chomping the reader from reaching its secret hidden in the back pages of the book (psst, it’s cake). This book, written entirely as monster monologue, is all bright colors and sharp edges, creating a feeling of temper-tantrum immediacy that matches the silly-angry words. Shea’s illustrations are bold but not too busy, giving the impression of fast movement and strong emotions, and the striped shirt–wearing monster is lovable in an ankle-biting kind of way. The fast pace, funny faces, and silly secret make this a great read-aloud." — Siân Gaetano THE HORN BOOK

Penguin Problems

by Jory John

Have you ever thought: I have so many problems and nobody even cares? Well, penguins have problems too! Discover them in this hilarious collaboration from Jory John (All my friends are dead. and Quit Calling Me a Monster!) and Lane Smith (The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales).

This penguin has come to tell you that life in Antarctica is no paradise. For starters, it is FREEZING. Also, penguins have a ton of natural predators. Plus, can you imagine trying to find your mom in a big ol’ crowd of identical penguins? No, thank you.

It seems there is no escaping the drudgery of your daily grind, whatever it might be. Or perhaps we’ve just learned that grumps are everywhere. . . .

This book is sure to tickle kids’ funny bones and will elicit appreciative sighs from the adults reading it aloud.

"We are all Mortimer [the main character in Penguin Problems]." —The New York Times

“Bursting with humor.” —Kirkus Reviews

“The snark level is cranked up high.” —The Horn Book, Starred

“Will be right at home with fans of Jon Klassen’s This Is Not My Hat.” —Booklist

“Classic comedy.” —Publishers Weekly

“Rib-tickling.” —School Library Journal

Penguin Problems (Animal Problems)

by Jory John

★ An Amazon Best Children's Book of the Year selection
★ "Well-paced, bursting with humor, and charmingly misanthropic."-- Kirkus Reviews starred review

A penguin levels with human readers about what penguin life is really like--and it isn't all fun and games. A hilarious first collaboration from Jory John (All my friends are dead. and Quit Calling Me a Monster!) and Lane Smith (The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales).

Have you ever considered running away to Antarctica? Of course you have! Because it's a land free of worries and responsibilities! All of your problems will surely be blown away by the icy winds of that lawless paradise! . . . Won't they?

Think again, my friend. This penguin has come to tell you that his life down there is no more a picnic than yours is here. For starters, it is FREEZING. Also, penguins have a ton of natural predators. Plus, can you imagine trying to find your mom in a big ol' crowd of identical penguins? No, thank you.

Yes, it seems there is no escaping the drudgery of your daily grind, whatever it might be. Or perhaps we've just learned that grumps are everywhere. . . .

Jory John and Lane Smith let us decide. This book is sure to tickle kids' funny bones and will elicit appreciative sighs from the adults reading it aloud.

Giraffe Problems (Animal Problems)

by Jory John

The bestselling creators of the hilarious Penguin Problems, Jory John and Lane Smith, turn a giraffe's problematic long neck into an enviable advantage in this fun board book.

Edward the giraffe can't understand why his neck is as long and bendy and, well, ridiculous as it is. No other animal has a neck this absurd. He's tried disguising it, dressing it up, strategically hiding behind bushes--honestly, anything you can think of. Just when he has exhausted his neck-hiding options and is about to give up, Cyrus the turtle ambles in (very slowly) and helps Edward understand that his neck has a purpose and, besides, looks excellent in a bow tie.

Along with a heavy dose of humor comes a gentle reminder about the importance of acceptance.

Giraffe Problems (Animal Problems)

by Jory John

Penguins aren't the only animals with problems. . . . A second hilarious collaboration from picture-book superstars Lane Smith and Jory John!

Can you guess what's making this giraffe self-conscious? Could it be . . . HIS ENORMOUS NECK?? Yes, it's exactly that--how on earth did you figure it out?

Edward the giraffe can't understand why his neck is as long and bendy and, well, ridiculous as it is. No other animal has a neck this absurd. He's tried disguising it, dressing it up, strategically hiding it behind bushes--honestly, anything you can think of, he's tried. Just when Edward has exhausted his neck-hiding options and is about to throw in the towel, a turtle swoops in (well, ambles in, very slowly) and helps him understand that his neck has a purpose, and looks excellent in a bow tie.

Cat Problems (Animal Problems)

by Jory John

★ An Amazon Best Children's Book of the Month selection!

What could a pampered house cat possibly have to complain about? This latest collaboration from picture book superstars--and cat devotees--Lane Smith and Jory John brings with it a hilarious set of feline problems!

Just like most cats, this cat lives an extremely comfortable life. But he has his problems too!

The sun spot he's trying to bathe in won't stop moving. He keeps getting served dry food instead of wet. And don't even get him started on the vacuum--it's an absolute menace!--and the nosy neighbor squirrel that just can't seem to mind its own business. Will this cat ever find the silver lining?

Jory John and Lane Smith once again air their grievances in this must-have companion book to Penguin Problems and Giraffe Problems.

Can Somebody Please Scratch My Back?

by Jory John

A hilarious take on helping others and self awareness from New York Times bestselling author Jory John and comic artist sensation Liz Climo

Persnickety Elephant has an itch--a big one--and he can't reach it! While he isn't above asking for a little help, no one is up to the task. Turtle is too lazy, Snail is too slimy, and Alligator... well, Elephant isn't sure he wants his assistance. Does Elephant have to do everything himself?

Jory John's signature deadpan humor pairs perfectly with Liz Climo's oh-so-innocent-looking animals to create a slyly ironic read-aloud that will leave kids and parents in stitches.

First Day Critter Jitters

by Jory John

First-day-of-school jitters have never been funnier or more reassuring than in this picture book by the New York Times bestselling author Jory John and critically acclaimed illustrator Liz Climo

It's almost the first day of school, and the animals are nervous. Sloth worries about getting there on time, snake can't seem to get his backpack fastened onto his body, and bunny is afraid she'll want to hop around instead of sitting still. When they all arrive at their classroom, though, they're in for a surprise: Somebody else is nervous too. It's their teacher, the armadillo! He has rolled in as a ball, and it takes him a while to relax and unfurl. But by the next day, the animals have all figured out how to help one another through their jitters. School isn't so scary after all.

All My Friends Are Dead

by Jory John, Avery Monsen

All My Friends Are Dead is both the saddest funny book and the funniest sad book you'll ever read.

This witty and captivating tale offers a delightful primer for laughing at the inevitable: If you're a dinosaur, all your friends are dead. If you're a pirate, all your friends have scurvy. If you're a tree, all your friends are end tables. Showcasing the downside of being everything from a clown to a cassette tape to a zombie, each page of this illustrated humor book is laugh-out-loud funny.
Simple yet effective comic-style imagery and short, hilarious quips come together to create an amusing adventure through a range of unique grievances and wide-eyed dilemmas, from the sock whose only friends have gone missing to the houseplant whose friends are being slowly killed by irresponsible plant owners (like you). Cute and dark all at once, this children's book for adults presents endlessly entertaining stories about life and existential predicaments.

TALENTED TEAM: National bestseller All My Friends Are Dead and companion volume All My Friends Are Still Dead are written by Avery Monsen, an actor, artist, and writer and Jory John, a writer, editor, and journalist. They are friends, and neither is dead. Yet.

READERS LOVE IT: With hundreds of five-star ratings, reviewers can't get enough of this book. One calls it "gloriously dark," and another says that "guests are drawn to it like a magnet."

EDITORIAL RAVES: This uproarious book has garnered praise from several media outlets, including The Huffington Post: "Laugh out loud funny, and a tiny bit disturbing. In other words, perfect." and Paste magazine: "Finds humor in mortality."

Perfect for: Fans of darkly comic or slightly inappropriate books Gift givers shopping for a fun birthday or retirement gift Anyone looking for a unique coffee table book or conversation starter Readers of Jory John's #1 New York Times bestselling books The Good Egg, The Sour Grape, and other titles in The Bad Seed series

The Terrible Two Get Worse

by Mac Barnett, Jory John

Two pranksters are better than one in Terrible Two Get Worse, the second book in the hilarious New York Times bestselling series by Mac Barnett and Jory John, with illustrations by Kevin Cornell.

Miles Murphy and Niles Sparks are great at being terrible.

Nearly every day the fearsome pranking duo turns Yawnee Valley Science and Letters Academy upside down with their stunts. The Big Chirp. The Cafeteria Calamity. Their pranks bring joy to their classmates and embarrassment to their nemesis: blowhard Principal Barkin.

But one day—school picture day, to be precise—a scheme goes too far, and Principal Barkin ends up fired. His replacement: Principal Barkin Senior, the principal’s no-nonsense father. The new principal runs the school with an iron fist, out to destroy all signs of fun. No group work. No Pajama Day. And definitely no pranking.

In this second book in the sly and silly illustrated series, bestselling authors Mac Barnett and Jory John prove once again that pranks in the hands of the powerless can be tools of justice—and hilarity.

The Terrible Two series
The Terrible Two
The Terrible Two Get Worse
The Terrible Two Go Wild
The Terrible Two’s Last Laugh

The Terrible Two Get Worse

by Mac Barnett, Jory John

Two pranksters are better than one in Terrible Two Get Worse, the second book in the hilarious New York Times bestselling series by Mac Barnett and Jory John, with illustrations by Kevin Cornell.

Miles Murphy and Niles Sparks are great at being terrible.

Nearly every day the fearsome pranking duo turns Yawnee Valley Science and Letters Academy upside down with their stunts. The Big Chirp. The Cafeteria Calamity. Their pranks bring joy to their classmates and embarrassment to their nemesis: blowhard Principal Barkin.

But one day—school picture day, to be precise—a scheme goes too far, and Principal Barkin ends up fired. His replacement: Principal Barkin Senior, the principal’s no-nonsense father. The new principal runs the school with an iron fist, out to destroy all signs of fun. No group work. No Pajama Day. And definitely no pranking.

In this second book in the sly and silly illustrated series, bestselling authors Mac Barnett and Jory John prove once again that pranks in the hands of the powerless can be tools of justice—and hilarity.

The Terrible Two series
The Terrible Two
The Terrible Two Get Worse
The Terrible Two Go Wild
The Terrible Two’s Last Laugh

The Terrible Two

by Mac Barnett, Jory John

It's prankster against prankster in the first book of the hilarious New York Times bestselling series by Mac Barnett and Jory John!

Miles Murphy is known for one thing and one thing only: pranking.

He’s the best prankster his school has ever seen. So when he’s forced to move to boring Yawnee Valley (also known for one thing and one thing only: cows), he assumes he’ll be the best prankster at his new school too. There’s one problem. The school already has a prankster—and he’s good. Really good.

From bestselling authors Mac Barnett (Extra Yarn, Sam and Dave Dig a Hole) and Jory John (Penguin Problems, The Bad Seed) comes this deviously funny new series about fitting in, making your mark, and finding a friend where you least expect one. Oh, and cows.

The Terrible Two

by Mac Barnett, Jory John

From New York Times bestselling authors Mac Barnett and Jory John comes The Terrible Two, the first book in a deviously funny series about fitting in, making your mark, and finding a friend where you least expect one.

“A double helping of fun and mischief.” —Jeff Kinney, author, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

“This book is really funny and exciting.” —TheGuardian

Welcome to Yawnee Valley, the land of cows.

“Some facts about Yawnee Valley: If you placed all of Yawnee Valley’s cows in a stack, they would extend to the moon and back. (But this is probably not a good idea since cows are afraid of heights and cannot breathe in space without helmets.)”

Miles Murphy is known for one thing and one thing only: pranking. He’s the best prankster his school has ever seen. So when he’s forced to move to boring, cow-filled Yawnee Valley, he assumes he’ll be the best prankster at his new school, too.

There’s one problem. The school already has a prankster—and he’s good. Really good. Let the prank war begin!

Young readers won’t want to put this book down. It’s just a lot of fun. Deceptively simple to read but with a lovely flow, the concepts are sometimes deep, including the subject of bullying. But Terrible Two never reverts to the obvious or to potty humor, and the vocabulary is spot-on for the age group.

The Terrible Two series
The Terrible Two
The Terrible Two Get Worse
The Terrible Two Go Wild
The Terrible Two’s Last Laugh

Terrible Two Go Wild (The Terrible Two)

by Mac Barnett, Jory John

Summers are for pranking in The Terrible Two Go Wild, the third installment of the hilarious New York Times bestselling series by Mac Barnett and Jory John, with illustrations by Kevin Cornell.

School’s out, and pranksters Miles and Niles have retreated to a perfect hideout in the woods, complete with snacks, games, books, sleeping bags, stream-chilled lemonade . . . and a stolen flag of nearby Yawnee Valley Yelling and Push-Ups Camp. But their leafy, lazy days darken when bully Josh Barkin and fellow cadets vow to get their flag back. It’s war, but one that pits nimble minds against hard fists; and as pranksters know, the real art of war is winning without landing a single blow.

From bestselling authors Mac Barnett and Jory John comes this latest installment in the hilarious New York Times bestselling series about the power of friends and good laughs.

The Terrible Two series
The Terrible Two
The Terrible Two Get Worse
The Terrible Two Go Wild
The Terrible Two’s Last Laugh

All My Friends Are Still Dead: (Funny Books, Children's Book for Adults, Interesting Finds)

by Jory John, Avery Monsen

From the authors of the breakout best seller All my friends are dead (more than 100,000 copies sold) comes a brand-new illustrated compendium of the humorous existential ruminations of people, animals, legendary monsters, and inanimate objects.

Thanks and Have Fun Running the Country: Kids' Letters to President Obama

by Jory John

A few days after the election of Barack Obama, kids around the country were asked to provide advice and guidance to their new president. In this collection, there's loads advice for the president, often hilarious, sometimes heartfelt, and occasionally downright practical. Students from all over the country reach out to the 44th president, speaking to the issues closest to their hearts, relating their life stories, and asking for help. Topics include the economy, education, war, global warming, race relations in America and immigration. The book also includes letters about snow cones, puppies, microwavable burritos, dinosaur projects, multiplication and the ghost of Abraham Lincoln, reportedly haunting a White House bedroom.

Proceeds benefit 826 National, a network of nonprofit writing and tutoring centers around the country.

Penguin Problems Belly Band 1c Pre Pack : Includes 10 Belly Bands

by Jory John

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It's Not My Fault!

by Jory John

The New York Times bestselling author of The Bad Seed and The Good Egg takes a lighthearted approach to how to respond to the all-too-common claim "It's not my fault!"

Emotional literacy is embedded in this funny cautionary tale:

Why is your homework so messy?
It's not my fault! I blame my pen.
Why can't I read these test answers?
I blame my pen.
Why is your assignment so late?
Um...I blame my pen?

A boy steadfastly refuses to take responsibility for any of his mistakes. He just blames everything on his pen, his backpack, his comb, his pillow--whatever happens to be at hand. For a while, this approach works at home and at school. He's positively convinced he has it all figured out until...all the inanimate objects rise up and revolt. What can he do when a talking pen and talking backpack decide to rebel?

The #1 New York Times bestselling picture-book author Jory John encourages kids to accept responsibility while keeping the laughs coming in this fun-filled tale.

The Big Cheese Presents: Have Yourself a Cheesy Little Christmas (The Food Group)

by Jory John

From the #1 New York Times bestselling creators of the Food Group series comes a Christmas picture book featuring the ever-popular character the Big Cheese. Perfect for holiday promotions, this book includes a tear sheet of twelve holiday cards and festive foil on the cover.
Every December, the Big Cheese hosts a gigantic jamboree with flashy decorations, sparkling outfits, extravagant gifts, ear-bursting music, and jaw-dropping entertainment. It's the #1 party in town and it can't be beat!
But this holiday season, mere hours before the festivities, disaster strikes! With no backup plan in place, the Big Cheese must call in a big favor to help save the big day. But will Christmas still be Christmas if it's not quite so grand?
You don’t want to miss this hilarious, charming, and thought-provoking continuation of Jory John and Pete Oswald’s bestselling Food Group series.
Check out Jory John and Pete Oswald’s funny, bestselling books for kids 4–8 and anyone who wants a laugh: The Bad Seed The Good Egg The Cool Bean The Couch Potato The Smart Cookie The Sour Grape The Big Cheese The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape! The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, the Bad, and the Spooky! The Cool Bean Presents: As Cool as It Gets The Bad Seed Goes to the Library The Good Egg and the Talent Show The Cool Bean Makes a Splash That’s What Dinosaurs Do

The Terrible Two's Last Laugh

by Mac Barnett, Jory John

The Terrible Two plan their biggest prank yet in The Terrible Two's Last Laugh, the hilarious conclusion to the New York Times bestselling series by Mac Barnett and Jory John, with illustrations by Kevin Cornell.

"A double helping of fun and mischief." --Jeff Kinney, author, Diary of a Wimpy Kid

It's Miles and Niles's final year at Yawnee Valley Science and Letters Academy, and the Terrible Two have one goal: an epic prank. Something that will leave a lasting legacy at their school. Which should be easy-peasy for these experts.

But their smooth sailing gets downright bumpy when they find out that the new superintendent is none other than Bertrand Barkin, their principal's father . . . and their sworn enemy. Now that Former Principal Barkin is Acting Superintendent Barkin, he has a first order of business: his long-promised revenge on the Terrible Two.

Readers in grades 3 through 7 enjoy zooming through the books in this series. These laugh-out-loud books have captivated young readers and prank enthusiasts alike.

The Terrible Two series
The Terrible Two
The Terrible Two Get Worse
The Terrible Two Go Wild
The Terrible Two's Last Laugh

The Terrible Two's Last Laugh

by Mac Barnett, Jory John

The Terrible Two plan their biggest prank yet in The Terrible Two’s Last Laugh, the hilarious conclusion to the New York Times bestselling series by Mac Barnett and Jory John, with illustrations by Kevin Cornell.

It’s Miles and Niles’s final year at Yawnee Valley Science and Letters Academy, and the Terrible Two have one goal: an epic prank. Something that will leave a lasting legacy at their school. Which should be easy-peasy for these experts.

But their smooth sailing gets downright bumpy when they find out that the new superintendent is none other than Bertrand Barkin, their principal’s father . . . and their sworn enemy. Now that Former Principal Barkin is Acting Superintendent Barkin, he has a first order of business: his long-promised revenge on the Terrible Two.

This rollicking finale to the bestselling series by Mac Barnett and Jory John will settle once and for all who—between quick wits and powerful fists—will have the last laugh.

The Terrible Two series
The Terrible Two
The Terrible Two Get Worse
The Terrible Two Go Wild
The Terrible Two’s Last Laugh

The Terrible Two Go Wild

by Mac Barnett, Jory John

Summers are for pranking in The Terrible Two Go Wild, the third installment of the hilarious New York Times bestselling series by Mac Barnett and Jory John, with illustrations by Kevin Cornell.

School’s out, and pranksters Miles and Niles have retreated to a perfect hideout in the woods, complete with snacks, games, books, sleeping bags, stream-chilled lemonade . . . and a stolen flag of nearby Yawnee Valley Yelling and Push-Ups Camp. But their leafy, lazy days darken when bully Josh Barkin and fellow cadets vow to get their flag back. It’s war, but one that pits nimble minds against hard fists; and as pranksters know, the real art of war is winning without landing a single blow.

From bestselling authors Mac Barnett and Jory John comes this latest installment in the hilarious New York Times bestselling series about the power of friends and good laughs.

The Terrible Two series
The Terrible Two
The Terrible Two Get Worse
The Terrible Two Go Wild
The Terrible Two’s Last Laugh

The Humble Pie

by Jory John

Serve up the eighth picture book in the #1 New York Times bestselling Food Group series from Jory John and Pete Oswald!

The Humble Pie likes to give others the spotlight. Aw, shucks!--they deserve it!

But when he's paired with his best friend, Jake the Cake, for a school project, he soon realizes that staying in the shadows isn't always as sweet as pie. Readers of all ages will laugh along as their new pie pal discovers that letting your voice be heard always takes the cake!

Jory John and Pete Oswald serve up another heaping plate of laughs and lessons with this empowering, witty, and charming addition to their #1 New York Times bestselling series!

Check out Jory John and Pete Oswald's other funny bestselling books for kids ages four to eight and anyone who wants a laugh:

• The Bad Seed
• The Good Egg
• The Cool Bean
• The Couch Potato
• The Smart Cookie
• The Sour Grape
• The Big Cheese
• The Good Egg Presents: The Great Eggscape!
• The Bad Seed Presents: The Good, the Bad, and the Spooky!
• The Cool Bean Presents: As Cool as It Gets!
• The Big Cheese Presents: Have Yourself a Cheesy Little Christmas
• The Bad Seed Goes to the Library
• The Good Egg and the Talent Show
• The Cool Bean Makes a Splash
• That's What Dinosaurs Do